Crystal: My great aunt Ora Mae passed away. My mom asked if I remembered her, and I was like 'No, I don't remember no Ora Mae.'
Me: Sounds like some crinkle fries.
Crystal: *laughs* I hate you.
Me: Oooh.. Wait. I know why the crinkle fries brand is called Ore-Ida. It's made from Oregon and Idaho potatoes!
Crystal: Wow at your epiphany.
Jordyn: Mama, why do you wear make-up?
Me: Because I want to.
Jordyn: But you tell me I don't need to wear it because I have natural beauty. You have natural beauty too. You don't need to wear make-up either, Mom.
Me: Aww, thank you baby.
Jordyn: Except for that brown stuff that you put on to make your skin look smooth.
Me: Well the brown stuff is foundation.
Jordyn: You need that. And mascara to make your eyelashes long like mine. But that's it. The brown stuff and mascara, and your natural beauty.
Jordyn: Oh, and Chapstick. You definitely need that!
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find...– George Moore (via cognitivebehavior)
Listening to "Single Tonight"
Crystal: I don't know how impressed I'd be if a dude told me he had on Polo draws.
Me: Right! It's like dude, you know you were still getting some ass if you had on Hanes, right?
Always kiss like it’s the first time…and the last time.– Leap Year (horrible chick flick, can’t believe I’m watching it…but that line was cute…and true).
Jordyn: Sometimes it's hard being a girl.
Me: Yeah it is, but why do YOU think so?
Jordyn: Like, when a girl is a grown up and she wants to get married, she has to WAIT for the boy to ask. That's not fair.
Me: Yeah, I hear ya.
We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and...– Orson Wells
Before You Give Up...
cognitivebehavior: Next time you are faced with an obstacle that you think is too big to overcome, any situational deficit you think is insurmountable, consider this fact… In order for particles within solar flares to escape the massive pull of the Sun’s gravitational pull, there must be tremendous amounts of force-generating combustion and nuclear fission. In other words… From much...
I hate when light-skinned people call me dark and when dark-skinned people call...– Me, with my medium-skinned ass, talking to my delusional yellow-boned sister who believes she’s “caramel”
Why do parents do that? Tell their first child they’re the best to make...– My damn daughter, Jordyn. Where did I get her from?
Me: You're full of shit.
My homeboy: Nah, I took a dump before I left the house.
My homeboy: Yup, that good club pregame.
Post Racial Football
Guy at UH Football game: Ya'll are so ethnic.
Friend: *something I couldn't hear*
Guy: This is really diverse. *with digust and bewilderment*
While listening to "I wanna be a billionare"
Jordyn: I wanna be a billionare Mama.
Me: Me too baby.
Jordyn: Well why don't you?
Me: I'm trying to baby.
Jordyn: Well then you gotta sell, sell, sell!
Me: Where do you get this stuff?
Little hispanic boy: Hey booty!
Me: *shocked face*
His mother: I'm sorry about him, he's loco in the coco.
Me: *lmao on the inside* No problem.
Don’t you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it’s necessary to...– - Pulp Fiction (via quote-book) (via lijnegus) (via gintel) Yes.
My quick two cents on Iraq...
While I am more than happy that President Obama has fulfilled his campaign promise of “ending the war in Iraq,” I’m troubled by some of the less informed observers of our generation thinking that the war is over. It it not. Not even close. Today Obama addressed the nation to signify the end of combat operations in Iraq. That means militaristic engagements in battle. There are...